Slowing Down

I woke up this morning at 10AM.

I rolled out of bed and quickly found the envelope of visa photos I had misplaced in the mess of papers on my desk, also uncovering my Starbucks card (which helps because ever since my iTouch was stolen, I haven't bought Starbucks due to not having the app anymore - I know, tragic, right?)

The second I found the photos, I turned around, and crawled back into bed. I was awake for all of five minutes.

1PM.

I woke up again, my mouth still hurting from my wisdom tooth surgery despite it being almost two weeks ago, and my head still stuffed up and fuzzy from sleep. I debated going back to bed. 

I compromised, hauled my laptop up onto my lap, and opened my 3DS to play more Pokemon because it feels like the only thing I want to do anymore.

3:45PM.

I finally slid out of bed. I grabbed a bagel, and now here I am, still wearing the warmest leggings I've ever owned and the Starbucks hoodie I'd gotten last year when I first started my job. For the first time in weeks, I feel like I finally got enough sleep. 

I'll be in Seoul on November 9th.

I don't really know what to think about that. If the alternative is staying here, working at Starbucks, that's not really much of an alternative. And all my reservations are internalized - what if I can't do it? How am I going to keep myself busy for the next year without my computer? How could I ever make friends? I've never taught before. Hell, I might not even get past the training. I might not even ever see Jeonju - the city where I've found out I'm going, which specializes in something called bibimbap which frankly looks delicious and I think I could eat for the next year of my life and not complain.

I taught myself how to read Hangul. Not the language. Literally just the word. Hangul. 한글
It's something, and I think I want to at least learn the entire alphabet soon. Already knowing how the words are structured makes it look less like a bunch of boxes and circles (which is how I had always seen it before) and more like a language. I may not be able to know what the words mean, but maybe if I can at least read them as such, it'd be a lot less scary.

And this whole thing is scary. It's terrifying. But I'm the kind of person who's nver taken a risk in their life about anything. For full disclosure, I didn't even drink until I as 21.

But now, ask anyone who's ever seen me up on a chair or trying to make friends with fat raccoons - it's a risk I'm glad I took. So i'm going into the city tomorrow to go to the Korean consulate and get my visa. And then once that's done, I can buy my plane ticket.

And then, maybe, I'll be brave enough to pull my luggage out of the cardboard it came in.